“Fut ball.”

“Well, ’fore I’d set up there in the cold watchin’ a lot of fellers kick a ball up—”

“Ain’t watchin’ em kick no ball up; watchin’ of ’em kick each other down!”—Harper’s Weekly.

A LOST curve in baseball—the Arc that Noah pitched.—Puck.

“WELL, Tompkins, how did you come out at the last race meeting?” asked a traveling man of a friend.

“As nearly as I can figure it, I came out about $1,500 ahead.”

“Fifteen hundred! That’s not bad. What horses did you back?”

“None. I had about $1,500 with me that I did not bet.”—Merchant Traveler.

“WHAT shall I play?” asked a meek-looking newly-appointed organist, of a parson of a rather festive turn of mind when off duty.

“That depends on the kind of a hand you have,” responded his reverence, in the most innocent manner.