HIS MASTER'S VOICE

The Kaiser (to Turkey, reassuringly). "Leave everything to me. All you've got to do is to explode."

Turkey. "Yes, I quite see that. But where shall I be when it's all over?"

November 11, 1914.


THE EUPHEMISTS

Kaiser. "I say, how are you going to explain away the surrender of your army corps in the Caucasus?"