When due solemnity prompts the tones
Of serious actors, more grave than gay;
They may be bores, but they won't be drones.
So learn, should you wish to have a spree,
What your Criterion ought to be,
Or the Tempter will put you up a Tree.
Hear eloquent Mr. H. A. Jones!
Amusement? What! Do you dare to think
That those respectable classic crones,
Melpomene, Thalia, they should sink