EMBARRASSING.
Curate. "Hello, Regie! Ah, it's good to be you! A Poor Beggar like Me, you see, has to be content with Running after the Hounds on Foot."
Regie (who, as the Son of our M.F.H., has all the Hunting-Man's horror of Foot-people). "Ah—yes. And the Pater says he wouldn't mind that so much, if only half the Parish didn't sometimes turnout to Run after You!"
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, February 27.—"Am thinking, Toby," said Rigby, just now, "of applying for Chiltern Hundreds. Parliament isn't quite the place I pictured to myself when I fought for a seat. Of course I've done pretty well. To be made Solicitor-General right off, with Waddy around, and Willis still in prime of life and energy, was a fine thing. But House seems perversely inclined to accept me as a joke, and that's not the sort of thing I'm accustomed to at Chancery Bar. Look what happened the other night, when, in my learned brother Russell's absence, I answered questions. Did it in my best, most imposing, and conclusive style. Kept my eye on Speaker throughout, to see how he'd take it. Effect most satisfactory. You know I make Chitty sit up, and North tremble. They, to certain extent, used to it; all new to Speaker, and told accordingly. Was really fascinated myself. I frowned at him, pursed my mouth, wrinkled my forehead, squared my jaw, sometimes lowered my voice into my boots, anon uplifted it above where my wig ought to have been. Being my first appearance at table, thought it worth while to make an effort. Judging from Speaker's limp appearance towards conclusion of my remarks, felt I had done it. Suddenly curious noise, that I'm told is known as a titter, interrupted me, and, before I had quite finished, there was a boisterous roar of laughter."
"Oh, come," I said, "you mustn't take that too much to heart. House will have its joke, and, if you won't make it, it sometimes makes it round you, using you as lay-figure. Your voice and manner in answering simple matter-of-fact question, were perhaps a size or so too large. But you'll get the hang of the place by-and-by, and will be all right."