A Lady in a Landau (to her husband). I don't think we could have done better, Horace—we shall see everything; and it's quite amusing to be close to the crowd, and hear their remarks—much nicer than being in one of the Stands!
[Her self-congratulations are cut short by the arrival of three Humorous Artisans, who have taken a day off, and are in the highest animal spirits.
Joe (first Humorous Artisan). You shove in first, Bill—push along, Joe; there's room for three little 'uns! Don't you mind about me—I'll git up 'ere, and see over your 'eds.
[He mounts on one of the front wheels of the landau, and holds on by the lamp.)
I can see proper where I am. There's a lady fainted down there!
Bill (the leading Buffoon of the Party). I wonder if she's got any money. If she 'as, I'll go and 'elp 'er!
Joe. She's all right now. The ambulance 'as come up—they're standin' 'er on 'er 'ed!
The Lady in the Landau (in an undertone). Horace, we can't have this horrible man here—do make him get down!
Horace (to Joe). Here, I say, my friend, don't you think you'd be more comfortable somewhere else?—that wheel is—er—not exactly the place——
Joe. No offence, Guv'nor. Yer see, I ain't brought out my brawm to-day, 'cos I'm 'avin' it varnished, and——