Bill. Why, don't yer see, Joe?—the lady's put 'er 'usband up to invitin' you on the box-seat of 'er kerridge!—it all comes o' bein so good lookin'—but take care what yer about, or your missus may come by and ketch yer—which'll be unpleasant for all parties!
Joe (to the owner of the Landau, with easy affability). It's very 'orspitable of you and your good lady, Mister, but I'm very well where I am—if I should want to set down later on, I'll tell yer. (To Bill.) I can't think what they all see in me. I don't encourage 'em!
The Lady (in a rapid whisper). No, Horace, for goodness sake don't—you'll only make them worse—we must put up with it. (They do.)
Bill (affecting to recognise an imaginary friend across the road). 'Ullo, if there ain't little Alexander! I knoo 'e'd be 'ere. What cher, Alec, ole pal?
Joe (playing up to him). Ah, and there goes Jack Gayner! You can spot 'im anywhere by 'is eye-glass.
Bill. That's ole Jack all over, that is. 'E wouldn't come out—not on a day like this—without a eyeglass, Jack wouldn't. If it 'ad ha' bin a Saturday now, 'e'd ha' 'ad two, to see 'is way 'ome by. (A gorgeous official passes on horseback.) There y'ar—there's Dan Leno. Way oh, Danny!
Dick. It's time 'Er Most Gracious come along, if she's goin' to keep 'er character. If she don't make 'aste, I shan't 'ave time to get 'alf a pint afore I go 'ome!
Bill (sentimentally). Ah, if she on'y knoo the anxious arts she's causin'! 'Ullo, see that bloke tryin' to climb up on the wall there? If I was one o' them sojers, I'd draw my sword and do a noble deed against 'im, I would. He wouldn't want to set down on no wall arter I'd done with him!
[By this time the two have secured a delighted audience—of which they are fully conscious.
Joe. Time's very near up. 'Er Majesty ain't 'urryin 'erself.