Sportsman (who has caught Brown's mare). "Now then! this Way out, Sir, this Way out!" Brown (who has already swallowed about a quart of mud and water). "B—b—but it's deep!" Sportsman (impatient). "Confound it, Man! do you expect me to fetch a Boat?"
CHRISTMAS HAMPERS.
- For the Czar.—Alliances—French and Triple.
- For the Kaiser.—"The Great Revenge."
- For the King of Italy.—The Military Estimates.
- For the King of Greece.—The Adjustment of the National Revenue.
- For the President of the French Republic.—The Legacy of Carnot the First.
- For the President of the United States.—Protected Free Trade.
- For the Sultan.—The Khedive.
- For the Khedive.—The Sultan.
- For the Premier.—His followers.
- For the Foreign Secretary.—His colleagues.
- For the Chancellor of the Exchequer.—The coming Budget.
- For the Home Secretary.—Trafalgar Square.
- For the Colonial Secretary.—South Africa.
- For the Postmaster-General.—Cards for Christmas and the New Year.
- For the War Office.—The Admiralty.
- For the Admiralty.—The War Office.
- For the Theatre-Managers.—The Clerk of the Weather.
- For the Music-Hall Proprietors.—The London County Council.
- For the London Public.—The Paving Contractors.
- For the Bar.—The Solicitors.
- For the Solicitors.—Reluctant Litigants.
- For the Stockbrokers.—The State of the City.
- For the Poor.—The Condition of the Money Market.
- And for the World in general and Britons in particular.—The Influenza.
THE KISS THAT COSTS.
[A fair plaintiff, who brought a breach of promise action worth under ordinary circumstances at least £1000, had to be content with £100 because she had in the meantime been kissed by a new suitor.]
The gorse is out in kissing time,
And that is always—so the saw.
But know from henceforth (and this rhyme)
This does not follow in the Law.