H. B. Tree.
Why make such a clamour? Oh, blow
The Modern Society Play!
As nothing compels you to go,
X. Y. Z., you can just stop away;
Don't you see?
So say we.
LOST IN LONDON.
- 1. Hymn-book stolen. Original price, in superior binding, 11-¾d.
- 2. Hymn-book pawned for 2-½d. by thief.
- 3. Pawnbroker, finding my name inside, tells Police.
- 4. Police inform me I can have the book restored to me "on application."
- 5. Go to Scotland Yard. Told hymn-book is at Bow Street. Cost of my journey so far, 4-½d.
- 6. At Bow Street have to take out summons against Chief Commissioner! This is "the invariable rule," I am informed. Cost of summons and "service"—not the Church Service—3s. Could have got three new hymn-books with the sum.
- 7. Have to attend week later at hearing of summons. Journey again 4-½d. Bow Street not a nice court. Hymn-book restored to me.
- 8. Chief Commissioner appeals! Believes there is another person of my name to whom book may belong. "If I give it up quietly, shall hear no more about it." Give up my own hymn-book! Never!
- 9. Appeal dismissed. Attendance and costs amount to £45. And I am the winning party!
- 10. Chief Commissioner "carries me" to House of Lords, but does not pay carriage. Preliminary costs, £80.
- 11. Long Vacation.
- 12. House of Lords sits. "Has no doubt hymn-book belongs to other person of my name." I to pay all costs in all Courts!
- 13. Ruined!