"Young Poet Earns a Guinea in a Week"?
"Velour Hat, pretty blue, trimmed large elephant."—Advt.
A small seagull looks prettier and is less in the way at matinées.
THE CONVERTED STATISTICIAN.
A sudden jolt as we thundered over some points caused me to shoot a piece of bread-and-butter on to the floor. I stooped to pick it up.
"Stop a moment, please!" cried my companion. He jumped to his feet and examined it. "Ah," said he, "buttered side downward!"
"It's always the same," I said, as I jerked the thing viciously out of the window. "It's always buttered side downward."