Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 4th 1914

by Various

S. G. V. Eh?

S. P. S. I said, What can I do for you?

S. G. V. I'm Major Smith. I want you to make me——

S. P. S. Marjorie who? Speak up, please.

S. G. V. Major, M-a-j-o-r, Major. Major Smith. Can you hear that? I want you to make me a blue serge suit by to-morrow week.

S. P. S. A little louder.... That's better. If you'll wait a moment I'll just jot down your measurements.

S. G. V. Measurements! What the——! I'm Major Smith.

S. P. S. Hold the line a moment and I'll see if we have them. Are you holding on?... Hullo. Major Smith, you said? Sorry, but the fact is we've got two Major Smiths on our books. Would you kindly tell me which one you are?

S. G. V. I'm Major—Smith—of—3—Mecklington—Gardens—Kensington.

S. P. S. Oh, yes. Close to the Oval.