Ting-a-ling.

S. P. S. Hullo.

S. G. V. Bond and Lapel? I'm Major——

S. P. S. My dear Sir, will you believe me that we're not Bond and Lapel? We're Gerrard 9-3-2-0-4-1. Don't let me have to speak to you again, there's a good fellow.

* * * * *

Ting-a-ling.

Exchange. You're thr-r-r-rough.

S. G. V.
S. P. S.
}Hullo.

S. G. V. Bond and Lapel, dammit! I want——Don't you "tut" me, Sir. I tell you you are.

S. P. S. Oh, all right. Well, what can I do for you?