"Yes," he gasped, "I thought that 'ud hit you. That's what I call a real live piece of work. Here's another—in the old-fashioned style. Not quite so much snap about it. But my fourth low-comedian thinks he can make it go. It's called, 'When Father Threw his Wages at the Cat.'

"We're not a happy family, we're always on the nag,

Our miseries are dreadful to relate;

I've got two little sisters who are both a mass of blisters

From settling disagreements in the grate;

This afternoon my Uncle Charlie kicked me down the stairs

And walloped me for crumpling up the mat;

But this, though far from nice, is simply nothing to the crisis

When father threw his wages at the cat!

There have been other ructions, and especially the day