Chadley Bandman.
Doctor (to would-be recruit, whipper-in to the Blankshires). "Sorry I can't pass you, my man. You've got an enlarged heart."
Recruit. "Squire always says as you couldn't have too big an 'eart to ride over a country on war-time 'osses."
Our Experts.
"There are still three gaps in the trunk line through Asia Minor to Baghdad, but these will be filled in during the course of next year, and unless we can reach the city before the Germans, they will certainly reach it before us."
Truth.
"One of Mr. Copeland's ancestors, Sir John Copeland, who captured David, King of Scotland, with 40,000 troops at the battle of Neville's Cross, after lodging the latter in Carlisle Castle, proceeded to France, to report the event to the King, who knighted him at Calais and conferred on him the Barony of Kendal."—Carlisle Journal.