Sir,—Why not paint the whole of London, public buildings and all?—I’m sure they want it. The latter might be done in different colours. St. Paul’s, for instance, might be orange, Westminster Abbey pea-green, and the Houses of Parliament a bright blue. If the effect were found unsatisfactory, fresh colours could be tried, until something were hit upon that should be considered suitable. This would afford the additional advantage of providing fresh work for the Unemployed. I don’t see what else can be done. Everybody can use a brush, and with a couple, or say, three coats all over the Metropolis, there would be plenty to occupy everybody for the next six months. As to expense, an extra 15s. tacked on to the rates would soon settle that, and I’ll be bound there’s many a householder willing to face that trifling alternative, together with
Yours, practically, one who takes
“The Bull by the Horns.”
Sir,—I cannot but think that, if Buffalo Bill were to introduce the “Unemployed” into his Show, he would score a big success. The introduction might take the shape of a contest between the “Wild East” and the “Wild West.” The former might be armed with brickbats and park-railings, and the latter with their usual weapons; and, were it known that a little genuine blood would be drawn in the entertainment, it might be safely counted on to draw all London. I throw out the suggestion for what it is worth.
Your obedient servant,
“A Commercial Well-wisher.”
Sir,—As at the present season of the year nothing is more common than to find the stalls of most of the leading West-End theatres empty, a fact which has a very chilling effect on the efforts of the players, why not fill the empty places with the so-called “Unemployed”? A warm bath, a suit of evening clothes, clean shirt, and white tie would instantly fit the veriest outcast that has recently come into collision with the police in Hyde Park or elsewhere, at least outwardly, for the social atmosphere of the place. A central committee might at once be inaugurated for the supply of these necessary preliminaries for admission, and a thousand or two excellent substitutes for the ordinary habitués forthwith launched nightly among what is at the present moment left of the fashionable play-going world in the Metropolis. The advantage would cut both ways. Not only would the Management be blessed by the appearance of a perfectly full house, but the loafers, professional thieves, and ruffians who produced it would, no doubt, endeavour to play up to their clothes and surroundings, and, on receipt of a small retaining-fee of 3s. 6d. a head for their attendance, be proportionately softened and civilised by the process. This, Sir, seems to me a very legitimate, humane, and philosophical method of dealing with the present crisis, and as such I trust it will as powerfully recommend itself to your readers as it has to
Yours thoughtfully,
“A Pleasure-Seeking Socialist.”
Sir,—What are the authorities about that they do not at once embank the river on both sides up to Richmond, and span it with five bridges between this and Gravesend? Then there’s the whole of Piccadilly to come down and be rebuilt with the road properly levelled, to say nothing of a great Central Terminus in Soho Square uniting the Midland, North and Great Western, Great Northern with the Great Eastern, and all the Great Southern lines. Add to this, that the entire gas-piping of the Metropolis ought to come up bodily, and make way for the installation of the Electric Light, to say nothing of the fixing in all the leading thoroughfares of overhead railways on the New York principle, and you have enough work at least to begin upon and meet the present crisis. Let the Board of Works and the various Vestries set to work at once, and as soon as Parliament assembles let it be asked to vote Five-hundred Millions towards preliminary expenses. This, Sir, is, I am convinced, the only reasonable and efficient way of dealing with the present unsatisfactory aspect of the labour question. Such is the opinion of