The Czar.—To increase the Naval and Military Estimates of his country with one hand, and at the same time succeed in controlling so-called "legitimate National aspirations" with the other.
The Sultan.—To pay his way, and yet preserve a smiling countenance.
The Gas-Stokers' Union.—To learn the lesson taught them by the course of recent events, and grow wise in time, without making further mischievous efforts to alienate public sympathy.
Mr. Barnum.—To prove to the grumblers, who write to the Papers to complain of the "Booking" arrangements in connection with "The Greatest Show on Earth," that the management is perfect, and could not be better.
The Emperor of Brazil.—To make ends meet on an income of nothing a-year.
The Covent Garden Lion.—To find that his quite sedate, leisurely, and altogether proper performance is watched every night in breathless suspense by an excited audience.
Mr. Augustus Harris.—To think already how he can manage to make his next year's Christmas Pantomime outdo even his,—this season's,—latest triumphant effort.
Mr. Gladstone.—How to fit the items of his new Radical programme nicely in with his Home-Rule Scheme, with a view to making some sort of stir with both in the approaching Parliamentary Session.
The Recently Unrolled Mummy.—To discover how he came to be so long neglected in a back room in Gower Street, and to find out, now that they have pounced on him, who the dickens he was when "up and doing" in Old Egypt thirty centuries back.
The Authorities at the War Office.—How to satisfy an inquisitive public that 18,000 troopers can be comfortably and efficiently mounted on the 12,000 horses, the total number provided for them for that purpose by those who are responsible for their supply.