Earl. Begone! Do not dare to darken my doors again. This is no home for old jokes!
Duchess. You must hear me. Do you know why I have treated you so badly? Do you know why I have taught your wife to regard me as a rival? Why I have blackmailed you to the tune of hundreds of thousands of pounds? Do you know why I have done all this and more? I will tell you. Because I am your Mother-in-law!
FANCY PORTRAIT.
QUITE TOO-TOO PUFFICKLY PRECIOUS!!
Being Lady Windy-mère's Fan-cy Portrait of the new dramatic author, Shakspeare Sheridan Oscar Puff, Esq.
["He addressed from the stage a public audience, mostly composed of ladies, pressing between his daintily-gloved fingers a still burning and half-smoked cigarette."—Daily Telegraph.]
Earl (in a choking voice). I suspected as much from the very first!
Re-enter the Countess, carrying a heap of family portraits.
Countess. Here, Duchess, although you are not to my liking, I have brought you a few pictures of my husband and some of his predecessors. Take 'em, and bless you!