Duchess (overflowing with emotion). My dear, this is too much. (Weeps.) You unwoman—I should say unlady—me!
Enter Lord TUPPENCE CULLARD.
Lord T.C. Come and marry me.
Duchess. With pleasure! Lawks-a-mussy! [Exeunt.
Earl. And now, let us remember that while the sun shines, the moon clings like a frightened thing to the face of CLEOPATRA.
Quick Curtain.
Applause follows, when enter the Author. He holds between his thumb and forefinger a lighted cigarette.
Author. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is so much the fashion nowadays to do what one pleases, that I venture to offer you some tobacco while I enjoy a smoke myself. (Throws cigars and cigarettes amongst the audience à la HARRY PAYNE.) Will you forgive me if I change my tail-coat for a smoking jacket? Thank you! (Makes the necessary alteration of costume in the presence of the audience.) And now I will have a chair. (Stamps, when up comes through a trap a table supporting a lounge), and a cup of tea. (Another table appears through another trap, bringing up with it a tray and a five o'clock set.) And now I think we are comfortable. (Helps himself to tea, smokes, &c.) I must tell you I think my piece excellent. And all the puppets that have performed in it have played extremely well. I hope you like my piece as well as I do myself. I trust you are not bored with this chatter, but I am not good at a speech. However, as I have to catch a train in twenty minutes, I will tell you a story occupying a quarter of an hour. I repeat, as I have to catch a train—I repeat, as I have to catch a train—
Entire Audience. And so have we! [Exeunt. (Thus the Play ends in smoke.)