My loved but suicidal hat.

Have hats got souls, and can they hate?

Are street-boys higher than the brute?

Avails it to discuss of fate,

Free-will, fore-knowledge absolute?

Nay, why of all created things

Should new silk hats be made with wings?

I know not. Wherefore, oh ye powers,

Speed me to some deserted land,

Where blow no winds and fall no showers,