You might as fitly paint Dame Venus freckled,
As fancy Punch will stoop to being "heckled."
I have no "Programmes," I. My wit's too wide
To a wire-puller's "platform" to be tied.
I know what's right, I mean to see it done,
And for the rest good-tempered chaff and fun
Are my pet "principles"—till fools grow rash
From toleration, then they feel the lash.
I am a sage, and not a prig or pump,
Therefore I never canvas, spout or stump,