Young Lady (on the road to School—to Friend, who, fearing to be left behind, has been calling her by Name to wait for her). "Ho! come 'long, Belinda, do—an' don' keep hon callin' hout my Naime; Hi don' want hall London ter know hit!"
THE FOOL'S VADE MECUM.
(Excerpts from a Handbook for the Majority.)
If you have reason to suspect a gun of being unloaded, make sure by firing at your friend's head.
If you find Him and Her tête-à-tête, join the little party. This will show a sympathetic nature, and take all the awkwardness out of the situation.
If you are a woman, always flop down in a smoking-carriage, without noticing the obvious label and the looks of the occupants. When made aware of the situation, say, "Oh, I don't mind smoking," and consider the question solved.
If a man, select carefully a compartment in which Two Young People are ostentatiously trying to look as if they don't find their own company quite sufficient for a journey of any duration.
If you are hurrying for a train, and want an easy, always slacken just as you catch another person up, and walk close behind him, panting and puffing till you are ready for another spurt.