Always read, or recite, your compositions to your friends. Believe them when they protest they would really like you to do so.
Engage in serious argument with a woman with whom you wish to be on really good terms—a rich relation for choice.
Always curse the waiters if the cook has failed in his treatment of your chop or steak.
Always act contrary to the directions in crowded places of public interest. This shows an imperial spirit, and will make you, for the time, an object of general interest.
Always stay to the very end on any occasion when you have been invited at the last moment.
Always talk loud, and, as far as possible, always talk about yourself.
From a Correspondent.—"Sir,—Seeing the advertisement of a book entitled Poets on Poets, I should much like to know what has become of a once much-quoted work entitled Pelion on Ossa? Who was 'Pelion'? and what did 'Ossa' write?—Yours, T. Noodelle."