"Could I but rule!" with emphasis you say; Then, doubtless, evil would be swept away. How to begin, of course, is your affair, Such practical arrangements are your care; Our task would be no more than to obey! Injustice then would speedily decay, Merit, and only merit, then would pay; Which means, perhaps, I'd be a millionaire Could I but rule! Well, many kings have lived and reigned their day; I rather doubt if your despotic sway Would quite fulfil the objects of your prayer; Many have tried, and ended in despair, And you, perhaps—But still you answer "Nay, Could I but rule!"
The Real "Sun of York."—Frank Lockwood, Solicitor-General. [216]
THE ART OF NAVAL PLATITUDE.
Mr. Punch,—Dear Sir,—As an able-bodied seaman and expert on the marine serpent and other such questions of the hour, I have been very properly asked for my opinion on the late collisions in the far East. Lest my utterances should be misrepresented by journals unaccustomed to deal with refinements of maritime phraseology, I send you a correct report of my interview.
"What deduction," began the reporter from the recesses of a deck-chair that had figured at Trafalgar, "do you make with regard to the future of naval warfare from the engagements of which we have lately read such distracting accounts?"
"My leading deduction," I replied, "is that it is difficult beforehand to conjecture which side is going to win, and impossible afterwards to discover which has actually won. History, however, and a long course of technical experience, alike convince me that, given equal courage and skill on both sides, vessels equally well equipped and armoured and of precisely similar shape, tonnage, and fighting power, victory may be expected, in many cases out of a few more, to fall to the party that is numerically the stronger of the two. You are, perhaps, with me on this point?"
"I confess," he replied, "that you throw for me a new and lurid light on a question always difficult for the lay mind to grapple with. But tell me of the torpedo and its mission."