O.S.
AN ORDER OF THE DAY.
In my opinion the value of the stock letter has distinct limitations. What I mean to say is that if there is in a Government office a series of half a dozen standard epistles, one or other of which can be used as a reply to the majority of the conundrums that daily serve to bulge the post-bag of the "controller" or "director," the selection of the appropriate missive should not be left purely to chance.
Last month I wrote to the Methylated Spirit Controller:—
"DEAR SIR,—Referring to the recent Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel) Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, I wish to know whether I am at liberty to use my car as a means of conveyance to a farm about ten miles away where the rabbits are eating the young blades of wheat. A friend has invited me to help him shoot them—the rabbits, I mean."
Well, that was lucid enough, wasn't it? But the reply was not so helpful as I could have wished. It opened intelligibly with the words "Dear Sir," but continued:—
"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to inform you that the employment of a hackney motor vehicle, not licensed to ply for hire, as a conveyance to divine service constitutes a breach of Regulation 8 ZZ of the Defence of the Realm Regulations."
Not a word about the rabbits, you see.
I was so fascinated by the unexpected results of my first effort that I tried again, this time breaking new ground.