"DEAR SIR," I wrote,—"Referring to Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel) Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, am I at liberty to use my car daily to take my children to their school, which is five miles from my residence? The only alternative form of conveyance available is a donkey and cart, the employment of which means that my offspring would have to start overnight."
I received a quite polite but rather chilly answer:—
"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to inform you that the class of necessary household affairs for which methylated spirit may be employed as a motor fuel comprises the conveyance from the nearest convenient source of supply of foodstuffs, fuel and medical requisites, provided that they cannot be obtained without undue delay by any means of conveyance other than a motor car."
My interest thoroughly stimulated by this time, I made yet one more attempt. I wrote:—
"DEAR SIR,—Referring to Methylated Spirit (Motor Fuel) Restriction Order, No. 2, 1917, I wish to sell my car"—which was true—"but how, as I am now practically debarred from driving it on the road, am I to give an intending purchaser a trial run?"
This was evidently a shrewd thrust, which required consideration, and I heard nothing for a fortnight, during which I disposed of the car to the proprietor of the local garage. At last the well-known O.H.M.S. envelope gladdened my eyes. The letter within it, apologetic but dignified in tone, is, I fancy, the most popular in stock. It said:—
"I am directed by the Methylated Spirit Controller to express regret that there is no trace of the correspondence to which you refer."
I left it at that.