The L.B. & S.C. Railway desire to state that the train from which the deserter jumped without injuring himself was not really doing its best.
A burglar was discovered concealed beneath the counter of a Leicester butter-merchant's shop. It is understood that he came early to avoid the rush.
Manager. "WHY DON'T YOU GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE?"
Tenor (haughtily). "I PREFER STAYING WHERE I AM."
Manager. "ALL RIGHT—ALL RIGHT! I SUPPOSE YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO POP DOWN THE EUPHONIUM IF THERE'S AN AIR-RAID."