F.M. SIR DOUGLAS HAIG (sings). "O I'LL TAK' THE HIGH ROAD
AN' YE'LL TAK' THE LOW ROAD...."
[The enemy has been fighting desperately to prevent us from occupying the ridges above the Ypres-Menin road, and so forcing him to face the winter on the low ground.]
INFORMATION TO THE ENEMY.
OSWALD AND CO.
We live in a fortress on the crest of a hill overlooking a little Irish town, a centre of the pig and potheen industries. The fortress was, according to tradition, built by BRIAN BORU, renovated by Sir WALTER RALEIGH (the tobacconist, not the professor) and brought up to date by OLIVER CROMWELL. It has dungeons (for keeping the butter cool), loop-holes (through which to pour hot porridge on invaders), an oubliette (for bores) and a portcullis.