"By placing a lemon in the oven for a few minutes nearly the entire pulp turns to juice. When next you want orange-juice try this."—Glasgow Citizen.

But why not use an orange?


"As a woman married to an Army officer for nineteen years I do not consider that I could possibly, on less than our present income, provide my children and husband with the necessary education and comfort."—Letter in Daily Paper.

Some husbands take a lot of educating.


Assistant Paymaster, "HOW LONG WERE YOU IN YOUR LAST JOB?""Hostilities Only" Man. "THREE MONTHS, SIR."
A.P. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"H.O.M. "THREE MONTHS."