"The five main points in the Prime Minister's programme are: (1) Punch the ex-Kaiser."—Sunday Times (Johannesburg).
The other four don't matter, but we wish to take the earliest opportunity of denying this totally unfounded suggestion. Mr. Punch is not the ex-Kaiser, and never was.
Late Superintendent of Munition Canteen (in dairy where she has dealt for over three years). "AND YOU WON'T FORGET THE CREAM AS USUAL."
Dairy Girl. "SORRY, MADAM. I REGRET YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY MORE CREAM, AS YOU HAVE CEASED TO BE OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE."
A LITTLE FAVOUR.
Maisie was terribly upset when she lost her gold curb bangle (with padlock attached) between the hospital and the canteen. The first I knew of it was seeing a handbill offering two pounds' reward on our front gate, with the ink still damp, when I came home to lunch. There was a similar bill blowing down the road. My wife had some more under her arm and she pressed them on me. "Run round to the shops," she said; "get them put right in the middle of the windows where they'll catch everybody's eye."