"Section-Commander ——, who has had charge of the —— Special Constabulary since their inception, has been presented by the members with a Sheraton clock at a wind-up dinner."—Local Paper.
It was, of course, the clock that had the wind up, not the Section-Commander.
"FOREIGN DIPLOMATS TAKE TO PRESIDENT. His Ability in Dealing with Them Exceeds the Most Sanguinary Expectations."—New York Times.
We shall have to revise our conception of Mr. WILSON as a man of peace.
Rearguard Officer of Demobilization (collecting stragglers on route-march). "WHAT THE DOOCE ARE YOU?"