I don't expect Bellaggio at Belleek;

I know a cassowary from an emu;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I'm acquainted with the works of Henry Purzell

(My mastery of spelling is unique);

I repeat, I know a mangel from a wurzel;

But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

I'm proficient both in jotting and in tittling;

I know a certain cure for boots that creak;

I can see through Mr. Keynes and Mr. Britling;