"NO, BUT I WAS CALLED TO YOUR OPPOSITE NEIGHBOUR, POOR MRS. BROWN, AND THOUGHT I MIGHT AS WELL KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE."
THE BETTER THE DAY, THE BETTER THE TALK!
SCENE—Any fashionable Watering Place where "Church Parade" is a recognised institution. TIME—Sunday, 1 P.M. Enter BROWN and Mrs. BROWN, who take chairs.
Mrs. Brown. Good Gracious! Look another way! Those odious people, the STIGGINGSES, are coming towards us!
Brown. Why odious? I think the girls rather nice.
Mrs. B. (contemptuously). Oh, you would, because men are so easily taken in! Nice, indeed! Why, here's Major BUTTONS.
B. (moving his head sharply to the right). Don't see him! Can't stand the fellow! I always avoid him at the Club!
Mrs. B. Why? Soldiers are always such pleasant men.
B. (contemptuously). BUTTONS a soldier! Years ago he was a Lieutenant in a marching regiment, and now holds honorary rank in the Volunteers! Soldier, indeed! Bless me! here's Mrs. FITZ-FLUMMERY—mind you don't cut her.