Sight-Seer.—You may walk into Buckingham Palace whenever you please, and without any ticket. But when you enter the rooms in which any of the Royal Family are sitting, you should put out your cigar, and politeness, if not loyalty, dictates your making some complimentary remark on the elegance of the building. If you have apples or other fruit in your pocket, you may offer them to the younger Princes and Princesses; but we believe there is an objection to their R. H. accepting slices of cocoa-nut, or toffy.
William P.—We think the young lady was quite justified in slamming the door in your face, and in throwing the geranium pots at you from the two-pair window; indeed, we do not see how any person calling herself a lady could have acted otherwise.
Puzzled.—We have so repeatedly explained that R. S. V. P., on a note of invitation, means "Write and Say Vether you'll be Present," that we are tired of answering the inquiry.
Theatricus (Ebury Street).—We shall be happy to read all your thirty-four plays, and, having done so, to recommend them to such managers as they may best suit. There will be no difficulty about money, but we shall be happy to make any advance you may require while the plays are in rehearsal. One hundred guineas an act is the lowest price paid at any Metropolitan theatre.
Smackarjee Woppajee (Calcutta).—We are much obliged. The sketch of the Ayah running round the compound after the Adjutant (bird), and the khansuma and the chuprassy pelting her with her own tabeejes and banjoobunds, has been handed to one of our artists, but we fear the nutcut will make but a queer jummakur of it. So you have got your juwaub, eh? Never mind, there are other young ladies in India. Ask again.
Query.—You are wrong. Sardanápalus is accented on the middle syllable; Zante is a dissyllable; Chobham is pronounced Cobham; theátre is accented on the a; Phäeton is sounded fee-á-ton; and Mr. Disraeli as Mr. De Hisreelly. Attend to these niceties if you would be supposed to have lived in good society.
A Young Housekeeper.—In September pickle garlic, parsnips, and spinach, and pour vinegar into each of your marmalade pots, to prevent fermentation. Smear the frames of your looking-glasses and pictures with tar and treacle; and be careful that the pantry doors and windows are left open at nights, as the autumn air of the garden is cold for the cats. If you have beer in the house, drink it.