THE PARSON'S PARLIAMENT.
Every now and then we read in the papers an account of the Convocation of Prelates and Clergy, at which, by general consent, nothing seems to be done, and nobody appears to be present. If this assembly, which never assembles, and a body, which nobody troubles himself to form, is supposed to represent the Church, we must admit that the representation is—as far as sinecurism is concerned—a very faithful one. The proceedings at the last meeting consisted of a rather dull duett, between the Archbishop's commissioner and his Grace's registrar. The latter in a lengthened solo gave the whole writ of prorogation at full length, and the former chimed in at the conclusion with an announcement that the business of the day was ended. The scene of this melancholy farce is always the Jerusalem Chambers. It would perhaps give life to the scene if Mr. Cook would lend from Astley's a Jerusalem pony or two by way of affording a little fit companionship to the commissioner and registrar, who must be rather sick of each other, and might be glad to welcome a little congenial society. The addition we have suggested might be sanctioned, under the plea that the Vicar of Bray would then have a representative.
OUR CITY ARTICLE.
THE present financial crisis appears to demand from Mr. Punch one of those Money Articles with which he has stepped forward in other times of difficulty, and which have instantly restored stability and confidence. Regardless, therefore, of his own personal comfort, he attended the Stock Market one day during the past week.
Mr. Punch was struck by the exceeding helplessness of the gentlemen in whose hands is the political thermometer, better known as the Funds. They displayed an avidity in grasping at the slightest hint, which was only equalled by the hurry with which they sprang away to do something, before they comprehended the real bearing of the information. Indeed, if these gentlemen of the Stock Exchange waited until they understood the actual tendency of the events upon which they deal, some of them might wait long enough. Mr. Punch casually remarked to a friend that "Aberdeen was out this morning," and there was a rush of fifty men eager to buy on account of the good news. Had they paused to hear Mr. Punch add, "walking in Kensington Gardens," they might have spared their trouble. Subsequently, the same gentleman was heard to say, "Not so tight as it was." Away hurried the correspondents of the papers, and told everybody that the tightness of the market was disappearing. Mr. Punch merely alluded to his hat, which had been a little uncomfortable until he had his hair cut. "Will open flatly," an observation Mr. Punch simply applied to the Princess's Theatre, was construed into a prophecy of the state of the Market next day, and business was done accordingly. But the greatest coup, and one for which Mr. Gladstone owes Mr. Punch a good turn, was the latter gentleman's saying, as he left the Exchange, "Those new Stocks are the best, because they always keep up so well." The new creations, for whose non-popularity the Chancellor of the Exchequer has been much twitted by financiers who do not know discount from premium, immediately sprang into activity, and yet Mr. Punch's remark was simply apropos of his friend's wearing a rather seedy tie round his neck. He hopes that Exchequer Bill, as the Right Hon. William is rather irreverently called in the City, will remember this good service next time Mr. Punch hints that it is time the duty should come off paper.
While the news was favourable to Russia, the Bears were very elate, but as soon as it was known that Punch had declared against Aberdeen and for an English policy, the Bulls exulted. Shakspere was quoted at random, but usually wrongly. The jobbers were scarce, owing to the Irish Brigade being out of the country. There was a rumour that a large operator had come, but it turned out to be only a fat surgical practitioner who had mistaken his way, and was, of course, exposed to the graceful jocularity of the House. A Bank Director came on and made some practical jokes, from which it was surmised that the Bank reserve was very small. Prices jumped about on every side, and so did little boys, whom the beadle chased, declaring he would have them there at no price. Some of the speculators appeared very uneasy, especially those who had a good way to go home, and thought it was going to rain. Finally, Mr. Punch was informed that things closed with much firmness at four, but he believes this must apply to the gates.