A TRANSPORTED AUDIENCE.
Transportation, as a penalty for crime, has been abolished by law: but transportation, by way of amusement, is still carried on, and Mr. Henry Russell—familiarly known as the original "maniac," he having obtained an injunction against a second-hand "maniac" who had infringed a copyright by seeing them "dancing, dancing, dancing, in the hall"—has been causing some of his audience to be literally transported with delight by presenting them with free passages to America. This is all very well, and very liberal, no doubt, but a passage to America may sometimes prove more free than welcome.
We recollect a recent instance of a quiet old gentleman from the country having strolled into a theatre, where he found a "popular vocalist" pumping away at the "Ship on Fire" with all his lungs, and the old gentleman was about to quit the theatre at the end of the performance when he was suddenly seized, dragged on to the stage, exhibited to public view, and loudly cheered as the happy winner of "a free passage to America." To appear ungrateful for a boon which seemed to be thought so enviable was impossible, and the poor old gentleman was obliged to give his name and address on the spot, to enter into arrangements for meeting the ship at Liverpool, and pledge himself to an emigration which would separate him from a capital business, a devoted wife, and an affectionate family. The feelings of that wife and family may be conceived when they found by the next day's paper—received by the early morning mail two hundred miles from London—that the husband and father had so far forgotten the ties of home and kindred as to have become the subject of "a free passage to America." It is true that, after a frightful nightmare, in which he heard a wild chorus of "Cheer, boys, cheer," interrupted by moans of "Ha! 'tis the night watch!" with occasional shrieks of "I am not mad! I am not mad!" he rose with a determination to relinquish his precious prize, and resigned to some more appreciating hands his "free passage to America."
VERY GOOD OF THE POPE.
The Pope, according to his frequent custom, has recently caused prayers to be offered in all Continental Catholic churches, for the conversion of England. This is very good of him, though it may be very unnecessary. The Pope declares—sorrowingly—that this England, "once the island of the blessed," has been "for a long while past caught in the errors of heresy"—"has fallen from the true belief,"—and is oppressed by "dark, false teaching, which keeps it from the knowledge of the truth." All of which evils His Holiness prays may be put away from us, that we may all see the true light, which is the Pope's eye—all salute the true faith, which is the Pope's toe. We repeat, however, that we object not to the prayers of the Pope's Church; but we do most vehemently object to the bolts and bars with which such supplications are wont to be associated. For instance, we have no objection that the Duke of Tuscany should pray for the conversion of Miss Cunninghame, but we do object—and might feel disposed to urge such objection from an iron mouth—that the Grand Duke should turn the lady from her free home to an Italian dungeon. Let the Duke pray as much as he will; but only pray—not prey.
RUSSIAN "MOUCHES" IN EDINBURGH.
The daily papers tell us that—
"The clouds of small black flies which were observed in many places of the island about a fortnight or three weeks ago, again presented themselves on Wednesday morning in the neighbourhood of Edinburgh."