Mock plate to serve mock-turtle in, sham ice-pails for champagne:

At this fine old English Innkeeper's, one of the olden time.

The swipes he draws is sour enough to turn a navvy pale,

Tho' by a bitter raillery he calls it bitter ale;

And tho' perhaps you don't see half a waiter all the day,

For "attendance" quite as much as for a lawyer's you must pay

To this fine old English Innkeeper, one of the olden time.

Then if to wine your tastes incline some home-made Cape you'll get,

Served up in a decanter like a vinegar-cruet,

As a "bottle of Madeira" this will in the bill be set,