A Soporific.—Why is the practice of praising children like opium?—Because it's Laudanum.
THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.
Railway Guard. "Now, Ma'am, is this your Luggage?"
Old Lady (who concludes she is attacked by Brigands). "Oh yes! Gentlemen, it's mine. Take it—take all I have; but spare, oh spare our lives!!"