"Yeast Lain, Grinnidge, seckund November, hatingfiftethre.
"Meddam,
"Haskin parding for the libbaty hime takin, I opes u will use yer influenzer with yer husband, wich its wot hevery lorful marred oman ort to ave tho they do say he use u shameful in publick, but ave no dout he gets his clippins at ome, and get him to print my letter wich I here some vartuous pussons wants us to ave a day of fastin an hewmilliashun, as a purwentive to the collerher, tho my husban hoo is a plane man, in respek of bein a carpingter by trade, but can rede an rite, did see in the papers that the workin classes ort to ave a plane and modderit dyeit in these times. Now Meddam I ham a pore oman, with siks children an a husban not over strong on account of workin twelve hours a day on wun mele, an hime sure hever sins I leff Reverend Slocum Smith's were I lived coke at fiften pund a yere, tee and shewgar fund an all parkisites, ceptin follerhers alloud, I ave never none wot it is to be without a happetite, wich if hany one thinks it a blessin, Ide giv em mine hany day and thankful too, for a lofe of bred. Likeaways would Jon. Likeaways would our siks children, wich I ave ad twelve, but siks on em dide, as the doctor sed of my asthma, tho I carnt see ow that cood a been, as I never wos asmatic, but think their deths was caused by the bad hare in our place, and the smells, an bein nussed so low, an put to slepe on Daffy for twelve hours wen I wos out a charin at hateen pence a day an my kepe wich if u ever wants any charin done, I can ave the best of karacters. An its hall werry well for them as as their cup of tee an their butturd tostes bifor their hup in the mornin, an their cold shiken an briled bones at breakfast, and a bit o cake an a glass o jellee atween breakfast an lunch, an a lunch of ot mete and pertaties, wich it is called the children's dinner, but the parents jines in it, an a snack o suffin between lunch an dinner, just to kepe hoff the sinkin from their pore weke stommicks, an a dinner of thre coarses an a dissurt, an toste an muffins at tee, an maybe a little kneegus or sperrits at bed time to kepe it hall down, and then a crust o bred in their bed rooms lest they shood feel faint in the nite—hits werry well for them to fast, if they likes it, for they've plenty of food to fall bak on, and wood honely go to their wittles fresher nex day, like sum I wuns lived with but wonte name, as made hup in Heester for wot they didnt hete in Lent. But if we wos to fast, hose lives is little better than a perpetiwal fast, I donte think the hempty stummicks of our pore littel babes would ever cum to again. An has for hewmilliashun, if Missus Reverend Slocum Smith's coold honely go hout a charin for a month, and be put upon by servants, (as I wos wuns the hequal hof,) an be snubbed by Missusses, an sumtimes ave her litel earnins stood hover from Saturday nite till Monday mornin, or longer wich it haint oncommon, an not a bit of bred in the house, nor nothin to spout, she wooldunt want no more humilliashun. An has for fastin bein a Christian hact, I no as Jon an me an our siks children, have been a fastin hever so long an donte feel no better Christens for that, but quite the contrairy wich hany one as will try it long will find the same. So I do ope Meddam, that ure husban will tell them as wants to fast an thinks they'll be the better for it to give their soup or fluities (wotever they be) to hus as donte want to fast no more, and would be more in charity with hour speshus, if we wosn't halways so huncommon hungry. I ham with 'umbel dooty to ure husband, wich he looked as brisk as hever wen I see im last,
"Your hobedt. chare'oman,
"Jane Gimlet."
The Bottle.
"I can assure you," says A. softly and persuasively, "there is not an entire headache in the whole bottle." "Not an entire headache perhaps," answers B., knowingly, "for all the headaches in it may be splitting ones."
A Moral Phenomenon.—A Barrister returning his Fee.