Latakia.—You are right. There is no doubt that there is a little settlement to be found in all Ports—but this does not apply to the Sublime Porte; for in spite of all the shaking and stirring it has lately received, I cannot see the smallest hope of a settlement.
Rosa Matilda.—You ask me, my young lady, what is the best ink for writing love-letters with? I am sorry I cannot inform you, as it is now many years ago, in consequence of the graver cares of office, since I have abandoned the foolish practice.
Thespis.—It is more than I can tell you what kind of Brooke has caused Drury Lane to overflow every night. I have not been to the theatre this season, and so I cannot inform you whether the Brooke in question was deep, or merely a shallow Brooke, or a roaring Brooke, or in fact what particular kind of Brooke it was; but from all the reports I have heard, some of which have been very loud, I should hardly say it was "the murmuring Brooke."
Debrett.—I cannot tell you Lord Brougham's habitual residence; but, looking at his trousers, I should say it was generally on the other side of the Tweed.
One who is fond of Digging for Roots.—I should say, from your foolish question, that the place where you dig most must be a garden full of simples. How can I say whether "toggery" is derived from the Latin word toga? Or whether Clytemnestra, when she was on the point of stabbing her son, exclaimed "Au Reste?" Or whether a cross-examination is so called, because it generally has the effect of making a person "cross?" I wonder you are not ashamed of yourself putting such insipid questions to one of Her Majesty's Ministers.
A Public Journalist.—Lord Palmerston is extremely sorry he cannot give the name of the "Old Woman who lived in a shoe," and he doubts very strongly in his own mind if any old woman ever chose such a curious locality for a habitation. Perhaps—and this is merely thrown out as a conjecture—it may refer to Mrs. Gamp, of the Morning Herald, and who lives in Shoe Lane; but then the song should run, "There was an old woman, who lived in Shoe Lane," and unfortunately it doesn't.
Horticulturalist.—The apple of discord was doubtlessly, my dear, a crab-apple; but it is beyond me to say whether Venus, in accepting it, was a naughty-culturist; but I can only say, from my own experience, that it is not the first time by many that Paris has been the cause of throwing the apple of discord—witness the Spanish Marriage.
"Et tu Quoque."—It would ill become me, in my position, to offer any opinion upon the conduct of a fellow-colleague, so you must excuse me if I decline answering your inquiry whether Lord Aberdeen is not "the injudicious bottle-holder of the Porte." I should be sorry to accept a compliment at the expense of a man whom I so highly—but never mind the rest.
Fiddle-de-dee.—I will write to Lord Westmoreland at the earliest opportunity to inquire whether he is composing variations on the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel," but I doubt it extremely. Your other question of whether a man who gives his mind to a violin can be a clever ambassador, I decline answering.
"That's the Way the Money Goes."—You ask me—why I don't know—the reason why "tin" should be the vulgar synonym for money. It defies my powers of divination to tell you, unless it originated from the fact of the purses which are thrown away upon the stage, and which generally contain from ten thousand ducats to a hundred thousand pounds, being always filled with pieces of tin. Hence probably the synonym.
One who Dabbles in Ink.—I do not mind telling you in confidence that Lord Brougham is not the Editor of the Family Herald.
A Victim to the East Wind.—The best plan, my dear young lady, for keeping the chaps off your lips is to wear a respirator.
THE HIGH-METTLED RAZOR.
Air—"See the course throng'd with gazers, the sports are begun."—C. Dibdin.
Since of course we want razors when manhood's begun,
Lest profusion of beard should our faces o'errun,
A thousand strange methods are found every year,
And Mechi and Rodgers assail our young ear.
When we next, like a vain beau, direct that our crest,
Silver-mounted, should be on the handle impressed,