We have—by a meekness and endurance unparalleled in the House of Romanoff—begged, suffered, entreated, wept, rolled ourselves in the dust, to appease and mollify the cannibal spirit of the Turk.
But all in vain. He is stiff-necked, and not to be turned. We, therefore, propose to march with our sacred soldiers to Constantinople, and there and then—(Grace having been duly said by the Patriarch of our Holy Church)—to eat the accursed Sultan Abdul-Medjid alive, and WITHOUT SALT! [Here follows a pious invocation for a blessing on the Imperial intention.]
CHEAP LIGHTNING-POSTAGE.
The formation of a New General Electric Telegraph Company is contemplated by Mr. Punch.
To supersede and cut out all existing Electric Telegraph Companies will be the object of the New General Electric Telegraph Company, of which Mr. Punch meditates the establishment.
Nothing can be clearer to the reflecting mind than that a shock of electricity is, of itself, one of the cheapest commodities that can be produced.
Nothing is more notorious than the fact that an electric shock, imparted to the wire of an Electric Telegraph, is about as dear an article as any in the market.
The extent of the circuit traversed by a shock of electricity does not add to its cost. The messenger incurs no travelling expenses.
Yet nine shillings is the sum which "A Poor Man in Trouble," who wished to inquire respecting a sick relative, complains to the Times that he was asked to pay for the simple message "Is he better?" with answer, to be transmitted from a station 46 miles from town to the neighbourhood of Belgrave Road, Pimlico.