We see announced the "Death of the Oldest Lawyer." How old he was, we cannot say—but we always thought "The Oldest Lawyer" what is properly called "The Nick of Time."
WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS, ETC.
A DONKEY AND A MAYOR.
Plutarch delighted in parallels: Punch takes pleasure in the like intellectual exercise. Our friend of the Notes and Queries speaks of a "vast quantity of donkeys" at Malvern (for at that favoured place donkeys are measured by the peck and bushel). And amongst these donkeys was, until lately, a very superior ass named, for certain achievements performed in the cause of the late Queen Adelaide, the "Royal Moses." It seems that the good Queen was wont to be carried on the back of Moses—at the time simply Moses, and no more—to the summit of the thymy hills of Malvern; Moses, no doubt, inwardly rejoiced and comforted by a knowledge, or at least suspicion, of the preciousness of the burden (for he carried £100,000 per annum) that honoured him; for even asses have shrewd instincts in the presence of the Royal and the great. Well, Her Majesty being about to leave Malvern, rewards the old woman whose property Moses is: at the same time, with her wonted benevolence, inquiring if she could do any further service, likely, in this world of nice distinctions, to give—in return for the many rides on Moses—the old woman a lift. After a while, pondering the matter, the old woman said—"Please your Blessed Majesty, give a name to my donkey." Now, as the animal was an ass upon four legs, there was no precedent for bestowing upon him a baronetcy or even a knighthood: he could not be called Sir Moses Asinus, Bart.—neither dubbed simply Sir Moses. Otherwise, in the latter case, we doubt not the good-natured Queen, calling for a bulrush from the ponds of Malvern, the donkey sagaciously going upon his knees, would have been melodiously commanded to "Rise, Sir Moses." The four legs, however, stood in the way of such an honour. Therefore, Queen Adelaide, looking benevolently upon the donkey, said—"Henceforth, be known to all men as the ROYAL Moses." A peck of beans would, probably have been quite as acceptable as the regal prefix; nevertheless, the ass—like the ass of Peter Bell—
"—— the ass, with motion dull,
Turn'd, on the pivot of his skull,