But with it the Great Exhibition entwining,
We'll get in adroitly a statue of him."
The bargain was struck, and the project to dish up
They flew to a meeting, the plan to propound;
"Adieu," whispered Challis, "you're not the first bishop
Who's kept his position by shifting his ground."
A PLAN FOR THE SIMPLIFICATION OF PUBLIC ORATORY.
Mr. Punch, who has suffered so much from the inordinate long-windedness of our public orators in general, and of our senators in particular, that he can thoroughly appreciate the misery which it must have inflicted upon the nation, has, of his own free motion and consent, meditated and devised a scheme, by which the nation will be released from the pain of hearing, and our public men from the labour of uttering speeches; whilst the former will still have the conviction that its representatives are taking pains to express its sentiments, and the latter will still have their vanity gratified by the belief that they are making a sensation. Mr. Punch has read in the works of Messrs. Huc and Gabet (two missionaries, in whom the humour of Rabelais is combined with the kindly fervour of Las Casas) that the Lamas in Thibet—who have more prayers to recite than they can get through in a day, without suspending their ordinary avocations—are in the habit of employing what they call Tchu Kor, or turning prayers. These are large but light cylinders of wood, placed on an axle, and inscribed with a great number of prayers in Thibetian characters. The devout Lama gives the Tchu Kor a push, which sets it in motion for a considerable period, during which he goes about his secular business, and leaves the performance of his religious exercises to this pious whirligig.
If Mr. Punch were acquainted with the Lamas, he would suggest to them that by the help of a little simple machinery and the aid of a turnspit dog, they might prolong their prayers for a period quite beyond the strength of their own ingenious but imperfect instrument. But as it is, he contents himself with recommending that Tchu Kor, or talking cylinders, shall be introduced into the House of Commons without delay. So many of the speeches made in that assembly have no sort of interest for it or for the public, and are dictated only by the desire of the Members to acquit themselves of a duty to their constituents, that they might as well not be uttered at all. And as no speech is supposed to influence a division, or gain over a vote, whilst many give rise to much bad blood, and to endless misunderstandings, prevarications, rejoinders, and recriminations, it would be as well that so fertile a source of mischief should at once be dried up; and that if Members must talk, they should do so only through the medium of the Tchu Kor.