1st. The Queen's shoemaker may advertise himself as "purveyor of shoes to the whole of Her Majesty's foot," and he may also add that "the good footing on which Royalty stands with the people in this country is entirely due to &c. &c., who makes the Queen's shoes, and who sells highlows, &c. &c. &c."
2nd. The Queen's glover may announce that "the affection entertained by the whole nation for the Royal Kids is entirely due to the fact that Her Majesty buys all her gloves of &c. &c."
3rd. The Queen's perfumer may ask conundrumically: "Why is Royalty in such excellent odour in England? Because all the scents used in the palace are purchased at &c. &c."
4th. The Queen's hairdresser may—with a disregard to orthography which is allowable in a perruquier and a punster—hazard the remark "that the true secret of the grace and beauty which adorn the hair to the throne is to be found in the fact that Her Majesty's hair owes its attractiveness to the hand of Nature and the pomade sold only by &c. &c. &c."
We could multiply instances over and over again. But as our object is to suggest a new mine of wealth to those literary men of our day who look to the art of puffing as a mode of obtaining an occasional blow out, we shall not proceed to forestall them in their labours, and take out of their mouths one morsel of that bread which, to the utter consternation of the poet, is now selling at elevenpence the quartern.
An Old Lamp and a New One.
The scheme of the Archbishop of Paris for instituting a fête under the name of Fête des Ecoles, to promote learning in connexion with faith, is a happy one. Everybody will agree in the sentiment expressed in his pastoral, that "Religion and Science are the two lamps which enlighten the world." And if by religion he means Popery, it may be permitted to congratulate him that, happily for the human race, one of the lights which he alludes to has put out the other's burning.
An Improvement.—The Russian army boasts of a Prince Stirbey. We think it would be an improvement, and only a just compliment to the aggressive spirit of the Russians, to call him Prince Disturbey.