"I ax yer pardon for stopping of ye, Sir, but could ye lend me a Girth? Mine's a broken."
MRS. JANE GIMLET ON "CRUELTY TO WIVES."
"Yeast Lane, Grinnidge, Haithedesemburhatingfiftethre.
"Honnurd Mistur Punch,
"Heerin from them as nose u, that u wos allus a stikler for wimmins rites, i use no serrymony in a dressin of u wuns more, on beharf of my seks, as may well be called a fare seks to distinguish hit from yurn, as is allus tretin ourn so unfarely. For Surr, feemul flesh an blud cante abear no longer the way in wich husbans is a goin on, not that I speke of Jon, wich is a good cretur, tho in respek of bein a man, he cante help aggrawatin sumtimes, but have never liff his hand upon me, an nose better than to try it on agin wun as can scrub ten flores a day, or git up a wekes wosh for a large famly in fore an twenty hours. But sum of my naybors as air not blesst with a good sperrit and constant maniwal heksersise, do get put upon terribul, an hime sure if u could see the pore creeturs a shoin of eche huther their oonds an brooses, for hall the world like hold soldiers after a battel, an here wun on em sain, 'My man give me this here gashly oond on my cheke bone with a smoothin hiren, last Wensday wos a weke;' an hanuther, tellin ow her Jim take an run a bradorle into her sholder, an swore hede skru her to the wall; an a thurd hexplainin ow her husban cum home drunk wen she wos aslepe, an tride to pitch her out of winder (wich she live up three pair o stares) an sed hede thro her litel wuns a top of her, and ood a done it too, honely her naybors cum in an purwented him, just as she wos amost spent with screechin an prayin, an hangin on by her highlids;—if u cood see an here all this an more too, as I sees an heres hevery day ude fele ure blud a bilin in ure wanes, fit to bleech ure werry skin. An then wots our remmydie? 'Lor,' I sez to Nancy Jones, the huther day, wen I see her cummin doun the lain with a blak hi, and her gownd tore, an hever so much of her bak hare torn hout by the rutes, wich her Bill had held hisself on by it, wile he punched her ed, 'Lor' I sez 'Nancy, if Jon pull my hare so, od rabbit it, hide polecee him.' 'Donte tell,' sez she 'wot's the gude of poleecin of im? Poleece wood get him siks moneths an ard labor, an hoos to purwide for me an litel Jak, an Rose Juleener, an Hagones, an Sofier, wile hese enjoying of hisself in prizzen? He do kepe us now, and wede better liv and be bete, than keep hole bones an git no bred.'
"An she do speke no more than the plane truthe, Surr. Poleecin of a husban punishes the wife and not im. Prizzen gives im a warmer rufe over his ed than he ad afore; prizzen fare cums more reglar than his hone, an cante be no planer nor harder nor scantier than wot he ave leff; prizzen reggulashuns kepes im clener an elthier an cumfurtabeller than he cood be in hour corts an hallies, an if prizzen labour wos from siks in the mornin till siks in the hevenin, its honely wot hese bin hused to. But the wife of his buzzum, as ave bin harf murdered by him, have to slave and drive to kepe bred in the mouths of his children (an say Nancy Jones, 'if it wosn't for the children, Ide ave give im back his ring at the werry fust nok he giv me'), an must wurk arder than hany Huncle Tom as ever wos, or go to the workus, wich few peepul can abide, an hall this she must do in the hexpektashun of seein of im out agin, an of the preshus hidin she'll git at their next appy meetin. An so many a pore creetur nevver peeches on the man as is a killin of her, lest she shood bring herself to dounrite starvashun. But, Surr, if husbands wos to get as good as they gave, an have a preshus good hidin with a catoninetales hevery time they bete their wives, praps the smart of their own flesh wood teche em not to make huther peepul suffer, and if they wos flogged nere their one homes, the other brutes as node em, and as is naterally kowherdly, would kepe their hands off their wives wen they sede wot theid get by betin of em. An so I ope ule try to bring about corpral's punishment for such offences, wich i suppose it is so called becos the corprals does the floggin in the harmy, and hoblidge your
"Humbel chareoman,
"Jane Gimlet."