Tears which scalded the cheeks down which they flowed; being vitriolic. Without this comment—which would have spoiled the gravity of the burlesque—the Tribune proceeds:
"On nearing the wharf, the news of Mr. Mitchell's arrival spread like wildfire, and ships and piers were literally swarming with the immense throng who crowded to give him a freeman's welcome."
No doubt this is the naked truth. There are, unfortunately, a great many scoundrels and ruffians in New York who have an ardent admiration for a fellow scoundrel and ruffian. It is unnecessary that a New York journal should explain that these vagabonds are not Americans. But that explanation is requisite for our stolid readers, whom we will presently tell who the wretches really were. An individual of the noble and generous American nation would as soon think of hugging a rattle-snake or a copper-head, as of taking to his bosom the venomous and vitriol-squirting Mitchell.
As Mr. Mitchell and his companions proceeded to their destination—which, notwithstanding the impulsive nature of American moral feeling, was not the nearest pump—he experienced various honours, which the waggish reporter of his triumph enumerates with whimsical exaggeration—particularising "roar of artillery," "dense mass of human beings," the carriages that bore them, being "followed by the throng," his way resembling "the march of a conqueror"—not by any means such a march as that of a man who is drummed out of his regiment. His friends, the funny journalist avers, "were almost ready to take him from the vehicle, and carry him upon their shoulders," and he was "surrounded by a large number of the citizen-soldiery and Nanchan's band." Among these troops were the "Irish Rifles," whose weapon, of course, is the vitriol squirt—the "Mitchell Guard," the "Meagher Grenadiers," with "Cabbage Garden," probably, emblazoned on their colours; and sundry other regiments and guards, which—it was superfluous to inform the New Yorkers—were ragged and—black.
Here lies the point of the whole joke. Misled by a parcel of Uncle-Tom-foolery, we are apt to regard the coloured population of the States as an oppressed race. They are, indeed, shunned and disliked; but that is entirely by reason of their incorrigible villainy. They won't work, but they will squat on an estate, and if compelled to clear off and make room for industrious whites, they shoot the owner of the property from behind a hedge. Rescued from starvation consequent on their unthrift and laziness, they turn and curse the benefactor who feeds them. Such were they who shouted welcome to Mitchell; and only think how secure a people must feel in their republican liberty to permit a mob of savages to indulge in such a demonstration! This base and brutal multitude did not contain one American citizen. Their bands are stated to have played Irish melodies, "Star Spangled Banner," "Yankee Doodle," and other national airs. No, no. The ragamuffins hated the stars as well as the stripes too much; and they no more played "Yankee Doodle" than Mitchell sang "Rule Britannia." Their music may have included Irish melodies; but their other national airs were limited to the class comprising "Lucy Neal" and "Ole Dan Tucker." They were an assemblage of odious, miserable, ugly, degraded brutes, connecting links between mankind and the monkey. There was not a single Anglo-Saxon in the whole lot. In short, they were all—Niggers.
CHARITY FOR CHURCHMEN.
OUR friend the Bishop of London has published a circular urging his clergy to exert themselves to recruit the failing finances of the Society for Promoting the Employment of Additional Curates in Populous Places. Very good; let all the other bishops issue similar injunctions; and perhaps they will not forget to point out that a great many additional curates might be provided for populous places out of the excess of income enjoyed by pluralists, who are the incumbents of places, some of which are comparatively uninhabited. Their Lordships might, by example as well as precept, urge their over-paid clergy to exert themselves for the required object, by pulling out a large amount of their superfluous revenues, if they can possibly stand so much exertion. Perhaps it would be as well to try the effect of this exhortation on the clergy first, and appeal to the laity, if necessary, afterwards.