Judge: We'll take a little fire out of you. How do you live?
Pete: I ain't particular, as the oyster said when they asked if he'd be roasted or fried.
Judge: We don't want to know what the oyster said or the turpentine either. What do you follow?
Pete: Anything that comes in my way, as the engine said when he run over a little nigger.
Judge: Don't care anything about the locomotive. What's your business?
Pete: That's various, as the cat said when she stole the chicken off the table.
Judge: If I hear any more absurd comparisons, I will give you twelve months.
Pete: I am done, as the beef steak said to the cook.
Judge: Now, Sir, your punishment shall depend on the shortness and correctness of your answers. I suppose you live by going around the docks?
Pete: No, Sir. I can't go around docks without a boat, and I hain't got none.