Judge: Answer me now, Sir. How do you get your bread?
Pete: Sometimes at the baker's, and sometimes I eat taters.
Judge: No more of your stupid nonsense. How do you support yourself?
Pete: Sometimes on my legs, and sometimes on a cheer, (chair.)
Judge: How do you keep yourself alive?
Pete: By breathing, Sir.
Judge: I order you to answer this question correctly. How do you do?
Pete: Pretty well, thank you, Judge. How do you do?
Judge: I shall have to commit you.
Pete: Well, you have committed yourself first, that's some consolation.