THE DOUBLE BULL.
"How can you call these blackberries, when they are red?" "Don't you know that black berries are always red when they are green?"
IRISH DREAMING.
When General and Mrs. V. were in Dublin, they were perpetually teased by an old woman whom they had relieved, but whose importunity had no bounds; every time she could find an opportunity she had a fresh tale to extract money from their pockets. One day as they were stepping into their carriage, Molly accosted them: "Ah! good luck to your honor's honor, and your ladyship's honor,—to be sure I was not dreaming of you last night; I dreamt that your honor's honor gave me a pound of tobacco, and her ladyship gave me a pound of taa." "Aye, my good woman," says the general, "but you know dreams always go by contraries." "Do they so?" replied she, "then it must be that your honor will give me the taa, and her ladyship the tobacco."
THE PROVIDENT WIFE.
A tailor dying said to his wife, who was plunged in tears, "My dear, don't let my death afflict you too much. I would recommend you to marry Thomas, our foreman; he is a good lad and a clever workman, and would assist you to carry on the trade." "My love," answered the disconsolate dame, "make yourself easy on that score, for Tom and I have settled the matter already."
THE COCKNEY'S BAGGAGE.
Sut Lovingood sends the following to an exchange. A full-blooded Cockney who is now taking notes on the United States, chanced to be on one of our southern trains, when a "run off" took place, and a general mixing up of things was the consequence. Cockney's first act, after straightening out his collapsed hat, was to raise a terrible 'ubbub about 'is baggage, and among other things, wanted to know, "hif railroads hin Hamerika wasn't responsible for baggage stolen, smashed, or missing?"
"Well, yes," said the Tennessean addressed, "but it is a deuce of a job to get your pay."
"Why so?"