"They will perhaps admit your claim, but then they offer to fight you for it; that's a standing American rule. There is the man employed by this road to fight for baggage," pointing to a huge bewhiskered train-hand, who stood by with his sleeves rolled up, "I think, if my memory serves me, he has fought for sixty-nine lots, an' blamed if he haint won 'em all. They gave him the empty trunks for his pay, and he is making a hundred dollars a month in selling trunks, valises, carpet-bags, and satchels. Have you lost any baggage?"
"No, no, not hat hall. Hi just hasked to learn your custom hin case hi did lose hany. Hi don't think hi'll lose mine 'owever."
Here the train-hand who overheard the talk, stepped up, and inquired, "Have you lost anything?"
"Ho no! ho no!" replied Cockney, with unusual energy.
"Can't I sell you a trunk?"
"Thank you, Sir. No, I think I have a supply."
"Well, if you do either lose baggage or want to buy a trunk already marked, deuced if I ain't the man to call on."
It is needless to say that instead of raising Cain generally, as Cockney had been doing, he betook him to zealously writing notes on American customs during the remainder of the delay. Probably he indited something fully equal to the London Times Georgia railroad story.
EQUIVOQUE.
A scholar put his horse into a field belonging to Morton College, on which the Master sent him a message, that if he continued his horse there, he would cut off his tail. "Say you so!" answered the scholar, "go tell your master, if he cuts off my horse's tail, I will cut off his ears." This being delivered to the Master, he in a passion sent for the scholar, who appearing before him, he said sternly, "How now, Sir, what mean you by that menace you sent me?" "Sir," said the youth, "I menaced you not; I only said, if you cut off my horse's tail, I would cut off his ears."