"Well, and how much do you get a chimney?"
"Only a shilling a piece, Sir."
"Why, I think a pound is pretty well for your morning's work."
"Yes, Sir, we black-coats get our money easy enough."
PROOF OF IDENTITY.
Richard II., on the Pope reclaiming, as a son of the church, a bishop whom he had taken prisoner in battle, sent him the prelate's coat of mail, and in the words of the Scripture asked him, "Know now whether this be thy son's coat or not?"
NO LOSS FOR AN EXCUSE.
The Welsh formerly drank their ale, mead, or metheglin out of earthen vessels, glazed and painted, within and without, with dainty devices. A farmer in the principality, who had a curious quart mug, with an angel painted on the bottom, on the inside, found that a neighbor who very frequently visited him, and with the customary hospitality had the first draught, always gave so hearty a swig as to leave little for the rest of the party. This, our farmer three or four times remonstrated against, as unfair; but was always answered, "Hur does so love to look at that pretty angel, that hur always drinks till hur can see its face." The farmer on this set aside his angel cup, and the next Shrewsbury fair, bought one with the figure of the devil painted at the bottom. This being produced, foaming with ale, to his guest, he made but one draught, and handed it to the next man quite empty. Being asked his reason, as he could not now wish to look at the angel, he replied, "No, but hur cannot bear to leave that ugly devil a drop."
THE GENERAL CHALLENGED.
General Craig, when in Dublin, called his servant to get ready his horse, but Pat was missing, and when he did make his appearance, he was not perfectly sober. The general asked where he had been? "I have been, sir," answered he, "where you dare not show your face, and doing what you dare not do, brave as you are." "Where, and what?" demanded the general, sternly. "Why, I have been at the whiskey shop, spending my last sixpence."