"Strikes! why, what is the matter, Betty?"
"Cause, ma'am, I can't give you hash every day and forever—me jaws is all broke down, and me teeth is all wore out, chawing it up for ye's!"
BAD STATE.
A schoolmaster in a neighboring town, wishing to discover the talents of his scholars for geography, asked one of the youngest of them, what State he lived in? To which the boy replied, "A state of sin and misery."
PRESENCE OF MIND.
A poor fellow, in Scotland, creeping through the hedge of an orchard, with an intention to rob it, was seen by the owner, who called out to him, "Sawney, hoot, hoot, man, where are you ganging?" "Back agen," says Sawney.
EXTRAVAGANCE.
An Irish "gintleman" had occasion to visit the South some time since. When he returned, he remarked to a friend that the Southern people were very extravagant. Upon being asked why so, he remarked, that where he stayed they had a candlestick worth eleven hundred dollars.
"Why, how in the world could it cost that much?" inquired a friend.
"Och, be gorry, it was nuthin' mor'n a big nager fellow holdin a torch for us to eat by."